Dreams from heaven

Dreams From Heaven!!!!

(Summing up the stream of consciousness as diary from 1969-1999)
When I wrote Patheyam,1my spiritual autobiography,someone asked,Arent the dreams you describe an illusionary world? That is not the real world.Where should I separate illusion and reality?I always wonder.Johannes Kepler 2dreamt that he has seen the clock of heavens and that he was traveling to the moon.And he really created those as science,not as dream.His dream became science for the next generation.Kekule 3dreamed of two intertwining serpents devouvouring the tail of the other,and he found out the 6 carbon ring of Benzene from that dream.Benzene ring is science and the dream which gave birth to it is not science.What is that logic,I wonder!
Varahamihira 4talks about the illusion of passage of time.And of space.Curt Godell5 said about it:Illusion of passage of time arise from confusing the real and the given.We think of occupying different realities.In fact there is only one reality.And Einstein6 carried the torch ahead.
When I sit down and try to organize my old diaries and copy some excerpts on to my computer,I remember these.A diary is a running commentary ,of your stream of consciousness over a long period of time.Disordered,it may seem,but on second check,a perfectly ordered rhythm is in it.The passage through the corridors of time of a limited individual life!!
My chronological age is 61.But my stream of consciousness goes back to millions and millions of years back.And create a new world from that for thhe new world of love and peace to emerge.My dreams and my streams of consciousness follow a cosmic calendar,I find with wonder from my old diaries.
In a cosmic calender one day is 40 million years!
One second is 500 years.
Every cosmic minute is 30000 years.
Converting that to degree,
10= 60’=180 0000 years
1 month(30 0)=54 00000 years
120 0(4 months)21600000 years
240 0 ,0r 8 months =43200000 years
Therefore 12 months or the circle of 360 0 is 64800000 years ,the energy number of Einstein.And this cosmic calendar was known to the Indian astronomer right from vedic times.Not the written vedic times,but the oral veda,the nomadic cattlerearing and early settling periods ,when mathematics was with just 3 symbols,a small line or stick,a dot(the decimal or the Bhadram) ,and a zero(open cowrie shell).The power notation of dasamsa was invented right back in the beginning of civilization in India,by a unknown ancestor who took a stick ,a bhadram and a cowrie and calculated the very big numbers of the yuga and the kalpa.Surprising.But there are many evidences for this .
The dream when in a single tiny moment ,time,energy and space become one with the dravya of our body giving us unusual insight into a bygone past and a passion to create a future of Oneness to the entire world(Advaitha)is my only reality.And for creating those beautiful dreams ,Indian classical and light music has been my friends/or aides.When I review my life at the age of 60 I find only this reality.All the other experiences were just illusions.And ,then I remember the words of Krishna in the Gita,that a yogi is awake when others are asleep and asleep when others are awake.That is absolutely true.What is real for a Advaithin may be Greek and Latin for others.And what is real for them is just an illusionary world for the Advaithin.
The truth of an astronomer is both the dream and reality of the ancient rishi.The essence of all the living and nonliving things,of all the civilizations and languages,sciences and arts consolidated as the rasa experience of soundaryalahari in a split second in one’s consciousness as if in a mirror ,in a dreamy mirror.They come to us in our deep sleep as visions,because that is the only natural state when we forget our sense experiences and are totally transcendental.We are then beyond the limitations of our socalled limited personality/ego and the limited experiences of this world.The history of mankind as we know it today is only a few last seconds in a cosmic calendar of mahakalpa and yuga.This small day-to-day life which we think as real is not the real.It is something beyond this.
For a soul to evolve fully the environment is selected by an unknown power.We don’t choose our parents .The parents,the home,the spacetime for the event (birth)is beyond our free will.This then determine our education and the possibility of wisdom we aquire.We are given the appropriate experiences,friendships,acquaintances at the correct moment so that we evolve fully.We don’t have free will on that too.
The poetic and logical truth or reality (reality of jagrad and swapna)are the function of the brain.The right and left hemispheres have a perfect job division.My brain has to be a combination of both.I cant deny my right brain’s existence.I cant deny the dream experiences as illusion,because that too is the experience of my own brain.Dreams are like flowers to a plant,natural to human mind.We cant deny them as illusory.They are more real than what we call real.It is a neverending fountain of my cognitive and creative power.The dream analysis of clinical psychiatry after 7Freud was concerned with dreams and imaginations of a diseased brain.The dreams and imageries of a perfectly healthy mind was not studied by them .The mind of a yogi,(a true yogi )is calm and from it creation and cognition arise as flowers,fruits and series of generations of thought for the next generation from the orderly synchronized past and present.And that part is unknown to doctors concerned with only the thoughts of a diseased mind immersed in selfish or mundane thought alone.The dream of a 8Ramanujan (of Namakkal Paradevatha)resulted in his creativity or rediscovery of magical squares.
At first ,in childhood I thought these dreams are from a past life,unknown to me altogether.But towards the end of my life,Iwonder,where my dreams predictive of my future too?Or is the past and the future the same point for a present moment?The lack of division into timespace in advaithic mind makes one wonder that way.All people see dreams,whether man or woman,whichever religion,caste ,creed or socioeconomic strata.No bar for age or language or spacetime for a dream.We touch not only the subconscious but also the superconscious planes in a dreamvision.When we see the same symbol repeatedly in an orderly rhythm,from childhood,that has to be considered not as an ordinary dream but a predictive or a rediscovery dream .Dreams are universal symbols since they recur in all people irrespective of any difference in spacetime or other attributes mentioned above.
There is a symbol of Dreamy prediction in Bible.That of9 Ezekiel.Ezekiel on the 30th ruling year.4th month,5th day saw the heaven’s door open and God appear.There was a northern hurricane,a bright firy envelope ,and in that cosmic dance of nature he saw a human form with 4 faces ,4 wings,and 4 such forms appeared.All had hoofs,and bright golden colour.The faces were lion,Garuda,Rishabha,and Man.Then he saw a light like lightening(in Veda soudaminisamaprabha)and the voice of God(as thunder)Whether in India or abroad,the dreams of celestial beings are seen as a vyuha ,usually of 4 or 8.Krishna,Durga,Vishnu,Rama,Sanaka and his brothers,Angels ,evangelists ,all are in vyuha,never alone.In the Suvishesha of Mark,which starts with the white pigeon of peace and th e healing power of prophet,there is the symbol of lion.
So it is quiet natural for me to have dreamed of a raasichakra in the middle of which the Devi stood,it was also perfectly natural to visualize the 4 lionesses who delivered 4 kitten.10.The dream just show that I am also destined to see the cosmic proportions and to talk on world peace and harmony.And for healing powers of music .What Ezekiel saw was ,the 4 cosmic directions of rishabha(with pleides or karthika in it),simha (with Magha and the saptharshi in it),
Garuda with a serpent (just opposite to rishabharasi is the vrischika with sarpamasthakam or Anuradha and the Jyeshta or balarama as Anantha naag)and the Aquaruius (man)or Hamsa (paramahansa)with Agastya and Vasishta opposite to that.These 4 points are 90 degree apart from each other and travel as a vyuha onlyThe cosmic form like this is seen by prehistoric men and women as dreamvisions.It is the KA of Brahmi,the chithrakoota of the serpent worshippers of India (The Bharadwaja group)and is the symbol of cosmic consciousness.The golden rectangle of the viswaroopa.
We know the growth of the body .It is visible.But our mind also grows.It is an invisible process.If it does not grow ,we become stunted.When a tree become old enough it produce flowers and fruits in appropriate rithu(season)natural to it.The dreams we see are like that.The end of a dream is when it is fulfilled.(or it become the fruit).Here the ancients and the modern dream analysts differ.
My dream is nature of my mind.If I am seeing Gayathri or Vishnu or whatever ,in my dream that is my nature.Or the rithupushpa my Atma creates on my mind.It has something to tell me.To teach me.As a human being,when a doctor listens to dreams of a client ,he should try to understand them in this way,not as mere illusions of a mad mind.Musical imagery in music therapy is used for this ,in my programmes.I would like to see the visions of the other world,the near death experiences etc of the clients to be seen as parts of human consciousness ,and not as the mad illusions.
In a similie of a plant with a blooming flower which turns to fruit,there is naturality,beauty ,fertility symbol and the concept of revival(punarjani),the nectar of eternity and Jung was able to see this ,unlike his predecessor Freud.The fertility of a plant is not sin.But a natural phenomenon for next generations to exist.A continuity of geneology .Of human race.That is a dharma,a duty ,and a beautiful experience for the rishi of India.And for all tribal cultures of the world and they saw it as a divine dream,as Ezekiel also did.The symbol of snake ,Goddess ,of Rasichakra as gates of heaven,swans,and other animals were interpreted in this way.

A rectangle or square with 4 sides,a quadrata divided into 4,a square within a circle,a mandala of Rasichakra,or squaring of the circle are symbol of individuation according to Jung’s dream experience.The total personality development is indicated by 4 cardinal points.The 4 and the circle enclose the whole.11Jung calls it the fourfold NIRDWANDWA(a Sanskrit word meaning not a second,or ONE ONLY)free from any opposites.Fantasies and dreams of a personal character may be explained by individual anamnesic but fantasies and dreams of an impersonal character cannot be reduced to experience of a single individual past,and are collective inherited memories or structural elements of human psyche.An autochthonous revivalof such memories as visions can happen in dreams in lucid states ,in yogic visions in reveries etc.The snake symbol or leminiscate12 ,a favourite symbol of collective psychic substratum 13which is localized anatomically in the subcortical centers ,cerebellum,spinal cord which constitute the snake according to Jung and kundalini according to eastern yogins (snake)are seen as early as Hippolytus ,Eleuchos 4.It is said that snake dreams occur when the conscious mind deviates from its instructional basis.And it has nothing connected to sin or sex.The fact is,symbols are the same,universal ones ,and it is the interpretor who interprets them as sin or sex whoshould be studied for the behaviour.The one who interprets it as a divine thing ,or a natural thing is safe.The one who interprets it as something bad or unnatural has something of that quality lurking inside as subconscious guilt feel.
I have seen snakes in dream only twice and those two occasions were good for me and not bad.And it had something to relate to my inner growth .My revered musical Guru K.J.Yesudas also had experience of three golden snakes in one of his dreams and it did not bring illluck to him either.
They were from heaven or may be from this beautiful earth,never from hell or from guilt conscience.The snakeshrine and its symbols in my ancestral house had always been auspicious to me in my life.
My birthstar
I was born when the sun is in Mesha (Aries)and the nakshathra or asterism of the moon in Punarvasu inMithun arasi on May 6th.From my childhood I had been the devotee of Krishna (Vishnu )as Guruvayurappan.When I learned the Dhyanaroopa of Vishnu (in my middle age)I was surprised to note that,In punarvasu star,the dhyana of Vishnu is as the long thin fingers playing the flute or the veena The poojadravya for Vishnu in this star is silk dress and long gourd(padavalangai which resembles long thin fingers of artistic people)Then I read Vamanapurana.It says if you are meditating on Shiva in the rasichakra,in Punarvasu in Mithuna meditate on him as siva and sakthy,preparing to merge with each other,,sitting on a cot together,They have musical instruments like veena in their arms.Are enjoying music together with musicians,dancers and shilpi(architects)around.They are traveling in leelagriha(playhouses)and Viharabhoomi together.This I read only in 2002.
My love for music and for Vishnu was written in my star ,when or may be before I was born .Such discoveries occur all on a sudden when you are least expecting them.If you are writing a diary you can analyse your stream of consciousness,the unexpected things happening in a regular order on which you have no control.
The first attempt of my diary writing was in 1969,as a student ,in my 23rd year.The mind was in a state of musical nirvana of love and was very immature at that stage,I can see when I read and look back at that diary.
Then there is a long silence of 7 years and diary writing resumes in 1976.(at age of 30)That was just after reading the 19 diaries given to me by my aunt of her uncle ,the poet –philosopher Narayanamenon.And I write in that diary.’A blow .A strong blow in life brings a thoughtful person to the infinite.The life is not for immersing in luxuries,in selfish motives.It is a lesson to a learned .Sorrow and pleasure follow each other.Then a quote from Swethaswetharaupanishad on the two suparnas.Then I state ,From now onwards I am into a permanent Tapas,a integration of karma,gnana and bhakthy.In my mind’s thriveni.In my practice of this I should never fail.I wont fail.Sitting in the vatmeeka of samsara,the long tapasya of philosophy makes me pure.It is because there are sorrows around me,that I am hearing that divine voice always within ,calling me for action,I have written in that diary(The internment experiences in the hospital in 1969 and suicide of a housesurgeon in 1975 December had prompted these )..
May 1976.An entry goes:The concept of heaven changes with age.While I was a kid,my heaven was a room full of icecream,Cadburys and toys.Then it became a beautiful garden of sweet smells and colours.Where beautiful gandharvas and Apsaras play around singing,smiling,dancing.Then there had always been a small baby KRISHNA with a peacock feather and a flute .The concept of heaven is actually the state of our mind in particular spacetime.
I had excerpts from Das capital and vivekanadasahitya copied in this diary.The quote of Marx”The prescription of superstitions which appear cruel to individuals ,are conservative for the community,and the preservation of the labouring cattle secures the power of cultivation and the sources of future life and wealth.’He says this about the protection of the cow in India.For a agricultural economy ,cattle which give labour as well as manure ,and energy (gober)to the rural people has to be considered as power and should be protected.If not,the agriculture suffers.I felt that is a good point of observation he made.When the nationalist movement took the symbol of the two oxen with a plough ,this social message was there,but unfortunately it is no more with us.The dharma,humane felings,economy of a agricultural land all depended on cattle and Krishna the cowherdboy ,the protector of cattle become a sociopolitical symbol ,with his brother carrying a plough for irrigation with yamuna canalwater.
In November the stream of consciousness views the deforestation for exploitation,and the habit of planting Ucalyptus which is not good for rootsoil,and a dream of Advaithic nation with no such exploitation of nature .The economy should be equal to all.Then there is a short article written for Grihalaxmi weekly ,written as per request of the then editor.
There are two diaries in 1977.One deals with immunopathology,neuroendocrine functions and is purely medical.The other deals with Katha Upanishad and the Gita and also quotes from National parent teacher (April 1955)an American journal.It says:’Modern education is that mysterious process whereby information passes from the lecture notes of the Professor,through the fountain pen of the student into his notebook,without passing through the minds of either”.
I used to say these satirical words about the routine type of lectures ,in my lecture clases,to enforce that our lectures and learning process should not be like that.And in one of the college magazines one of my students(Dr T.P.Nazer)quoted this as said by a madam wearing a large kumkum on her forehead looking like a Brahmin lady.And that created a small tempest in the teapot of Pathology department where at that time there was only one Brahmin lady who was vehemently opposing that she has never said that and all others wondering who might have said that!
Then comes a nostalgic page.The 5th birthday of my son.He had given a picture of Christ and sweets to his sister in convent school and she had in return given a beautiful bouquet of flowers.I could see the dry petals of those flowers in my diary page with a short comment from me:When he is grown up and I am no more,he might one day see these a s a remembrance of his childhood days and of his loving mother.”
Then there come quotes from Arshagnana,message of Upanishads,secret doctrine of Blavatsky,in between some easy recipe for my kitchen,and several songs written down in haste.that year I had the first Gayathri darsan but I didnt write it down,because I thought that was just an illusion I had because of my tired brain.I had the secret doctrine of Madame Blavatsky from year 1975 onwards with me and I remember that it was always on my granduncles desk and later on I read that this book had always been on the desk of Einstein (from a right up in the Hindu on Adyar library on 19.June 2008 only ,I knew this).
By 1978,I can see that the silly girl of 1969 has become a mature person.Vivakanada,Leadership and crisis(Robert Lhamblein )international relations,Plato’s republic were in the reading list .There are several film songs .Then a quote saying that for an intelligent woman the best.relationship is the good companion pattern.Because it is for the strong est initiative,intelligent persons.
Cattel’s theorem,how group discussions should be used for decisionmaking,and problem solving (professional)social communication and its importance come in the year 1978.The phases of group problem solving and its awareness had helped me a lot in my later life as a teacher,pathologist ,administrator,and researcher.(When I write this ,I have resigned fromA mritha hospital for a special administrative reason.It is 4th and 5th stage of a group problem solving activity which no one knows.But I know what I am doing .For a valuebased educational dream ,I had to set an example by that.)
Diary 1979.
In the pages of it I fished out an old letter sent by Soolapaniwarrier to Bhanu.It is written on 14.12.79.He says not to worry about my health but to think about his health .And he says according to Abhilash’s horoscope the mother has a healthy,long life and a very good future life.He says he has my birthcahart with him and that the fractures etc might have occurred several times before 11 years (fall etc)and will be naturally over with sukra apaharam and no need to do any parihara for that.Then he says he remembers a tiny face of mine which he had seen long back in Nalapat.And the divine light of my granduncle’s face and his help and educative talks which made him what he is,he can never forget and they are his vedavakya for life.
Then comes vivekanada,Socrates,social psychology,excerpts from kuran,geetharahasya,sriramakrishnavachanamritha,biography of Marx,Gandhism,socialism and the concept of the 3 gayathridarsan in a row.Which had given me a shock as well as a calm and peace not known before.By 10 years (from 1969)my love has become one for the entire universe!!I can go through that now by just reading through the pages of my streams of consciousness in these diaries!! Relive those moments of growth!
The next decade 1980-1989
There are 4 diaries in 1980
1.The kerala Govt diary:A Malayalam version pf pathology was attempted at this stage.some references in Pathology,Govardhanagiridhara of NarayanaTheerthar.
The data collected for an astrological research on cancer and other diseases,an opinion about the literary criticism discussion that was being published in Mathrubhoomi.
There were many who were criticizing destructively The discussions should be impersonal.Should not cross barriers to the personal level.
2.Manorama diary :Amarakosam,Rusel,Jungian psychology,sex education,communism and Christianity,the matter prepared for AIR Calicut on 22.1.80 on valuebased education.
The syllabus committee of Sidharthasankar Ray,public philosophy of Walter Whitman,difference between a voter and a citizen,public interests,unbalanced budgets,communist manifesto and Jacobites dogmas,educational psychology ,how to improve and increase the selfconfidence of the people,and for what ,how to do selfanalysis and find out our own weaknesses and rectify them.
3.Another Manorama diary:How to develop ethical sense in children?Rigveda,eduation,the Lumbini script (Brahmi)numismatics.Has a woman the strength to face difficulties?The topic discussion in AIR (19.9.80)Gayathri,astrology,Meteors(Fedyensky)Narayanatharvasiropanishad,Albert Camus and a few songs(film)
4.LIC Diary:My pleasures,my motto,my aim,my creed,religion and caste/in one page.The importance of joboriented education,wholistic education,planets,history,astrology,difference between samadhi and hypnotism,thaoism,Mithraeism,yogasidhi and realization of God.
In December 1980 following these streams f consciousness we decided to take Brahmacharya from Kanyakumari .Within a week ,the fishermen in the sea around kanyakumari got a sivalinga from the sea.
1981.

Astrology.A radioprogramme on 3.3.81(why we are unable to prevent cruelties to women by the law alone?)and seminar on Education for the future India(22.2.1981).How is our economy destroyed by the negative type of strikes?History.Skylark(shelley’s poem)Bharatheeyadarsanam,sadacharasasthram,sreechakram,Astronomical riddles in Mahabharatha,Home sweet home,a programme on AIR (October 6)
1982.There is a letter written by Valiyamma(Balamani amma)within the pages of this diary.And a paper cutting saying:”The practice of unalloyed devotion to the Lord b y developing a distaste for any sense-pleasure and by reveting the mind on Him through discipline will enable an aspirant to capture the form of God and enshrine Him in his heart.Cultivating extreme repugnance to worldly objects ,listening to the narratives of the sports of God,looking after the welfare of all beings ,abstaining from exploitation of others,bearing no illwill towards anyone,eschewing the company of nonbelievers of God,observing strict celibacy,refraining from gossip,resorting to meditation in solitude,remaining friendly and adopting austerity in food habits are some of the steps to attain God.Having gone through joys and sorrows,a person,who has thus controlled his mind,will develop detachment .He will gradually withdraw himself from the world.
The mystic cosmic poetry of shelley and Christian Morgenstern ,a direction to see pages 101-108 of Ammaman’s diary for information on classical music of India,speed of sound333/sec,a dispute on Autopsy in the department,a few lines from bible .
March 31 .1982.A writing on sreenivasaramanujam’s magical squares .And then how I could relate it to my Gayathri darsan,astronomy,Ezekiel and his vision,Ayurveda,Duncan’s according to the evidence,binary systems,sahasraaram,Adityahridayam,diary of Ammaman,music,Pythagorus and Arabian music,sreechakra,suryasavithry,leelavathy of Bhaskaracharya,Fibonacci,sound waves.
80-100 decibel decrease audition
100-120-ear aches
140-160 neurosis,psychosis
over 160 even coma and death
over 90 decibels is responsible for various diseases.over 20000 Hz ear cannot receive the waves which are ultrasonic.(a graph of this)If foetus subjected to more tha n80 decibels the child will be small and even congenital anomalies can occur.
1985.manorama diary,
The utpathykrama.On Amyoppu,the dream about janaki Amma,Bhanu,The worlds lost mysteries,
1985 unisan diary:The issue register of books of Abhilash,TV Time table,,cosmos excerpts from Carl sagan show.
1986.two diaries.
1.The music written for vasanthy on saibaba,
sankaracharya,the ekathmabharathasilpi,astrophysics,origin of moon (theories)astronomical calculations,Ptolemy,T.O.Map,preliterate societies and their culture,The challenge of teaching,the vansa of Mercury,The kalasarpayoga of Oct 30th.
Koutilya,the sacrificial hall ,Rober t Garisto and Newton,cosmic order(ritham)
Nabu chandasar ,Budha and Arabic script for Nabi
Sakthipeetham,Andal,History,Rgveda.
2.Unisan diary.Thirupathy mahotsava,(brahmotsava)chinese language,rain in North Arcot district from 1979-86,diary of Abhimon,notes for speeches,Brahmanalakshana,secrets of pyramids,mysteries and wonders from all over the world.
1987:Astronomical calculations,rigveda,science for everyone,how we can see what we see,(V.Denmidov).The boundary of preconscious ,purpose of calendar,discussion on arshagnana,(7.10.87)origin of terms,a new epoch,letter of kala .edappally on 6.5.97 and its reply.
Dec 10.89.article of sujatha and reply to it.The article ,Newton and Howard gardners Frames of Mind.(read on May 1987)The parts about musical intelligence is copied in full,because that was very interesting and I wanted to learn about it ,through the musical intelligence of contemporary singer yesudas,.Numismatics and psychology.
1988.Sriramachakra,pascals law,chandas,science of music,astronomical laws,difference of opinion with Dr Raaman ,time of vararuchi,his vakyam,brihadaranyaka guruparampara,9 jewels,29 vyasa,secret doctrine,susruthasamhitha,festivals of Singapore and Indonesia,their languages,research on women participation in academic chairs of calicut med college,expanding role of women in sciences.
1989.Susruthasanhitha,hindu mythology,and religion by John Da wson.
(In this decade came a few novels.amrithajyothi and panchasidhanthika from my pen and I took my MD in pathology too.And Abhilash completed his school education and entered college.)
Th e next decade is 1990-2000

There are 2 diaries in 1990.One deals with the cultural history of kerala and the other is part 3 of patheyam,the official part of my biography.Regarding pathology,research,administration and so on.
1991 there are 5 diaries,the first two are part 5 and 4 of biography.Also the menu for Bhanu,kuran,secret doctrine about karthika or pleides,the relation of absoo or the abyss of learning and the naaga,synopsis for book naagapanchamam,and a talk for August 15th ,on the gains of 50 years of independence and what we should do for further development,religion and political conflicts in south asia,pavangal,etc .
Another diary is excerpts from new york academy of sciences on nature of native language acquisition,and foreign language acquisition..Psychic phenomenon,precognition,psychokinesis,the meaning of psi,pk and methods of learning and teaching techniques ,the true aim of education,a useful change in behaviour,planning strategies to solve problems,vedanthasuthra with sribhashya of ramanuja,yagna in taithireeyasamhitha
.Then the next diary with historical studies and articles ,on lakshmanadesikendra,author of saradathilaka,jaipur observatory and instruments used in it,the contribution of India to archeological research,the magic worldof pyramids,sound,language and numbers,the mythology of south and central America,scythians,shefa who visited Solomon ,the chera,chola,pandya and mooshakavansa history.
Another one contains susruthasamhitha,saradthilaka excerpts,and in one of them how monkeys are given artificial nirvana by an electronic brain experiment .a button is pressed so that 3 times/sec for 18 hrs or 194400 times .In amygdala are the memories of fear.Basal ganglion has memories of habits /physical skills.Hippocampus is seat of memory.Ascending reticular activating system from lower one third of brainstem to posterior hypothalamus as seat of consciousness.
The making of a poet-seamus Heaney ,wb yeats,speech for Annie Besant memorial lecture,speech for Nalapatan award for Leelavathy about her book on archetypes,A vision of wb yeats, when allplanets join in punarvasu in karkitaka,the fire of the heavens,and universe returns to its seed position.Uthradam in utharayanabindu,is watery lunar,by nature and have love and discord with fire,both.They dominate in turn,lovemaking all the things into one,advaitha,and when they are indiscord every thing in the world separate and this opposite states go on endlessly repeating.
Then two papercuttings on yesudas.
Concepts of literature.myth and literature.
How parents can help in developing overall personality of children –a speech for st michels school calicut
Oriental elements in 19th century romantic poetry
Mudra a study of ujjainy by onv.vachanamritham for AIR,Bhakthilakshanam,J.Krishnamurthy and the nameless experience by rohit mehta,problems in ahmes papyrus,kumaon pictures,saraswathy chowky,dhooli chouki,numismatics.
Next diary with selected poems and a symbol of 5 pointed star,the sweetness of nivedya about valiyamma’s poems,a new model of universe by pd ouspensky,a preface to wordsworth,the prelude his poetic biography, That one is interesting.
Wordsworth observes that our memories are selective and protects us from falling into the abyss of despair.This renewal happens when our imagination and mind are in control.These moments happen in childhood itself.And the memory lingers in old age even,protecting us.He had it at the age of 5-6Ihad at the age of 7-8.
Experience of Wordsworth:At the age of 5,while he was riding a horse ,he was gripped by a fear,and a vision helped himout of that fear.The vision was of a turf,a pool,a beacon and a woman.Years after when he fell in love,he saw the same place and vision –he wandered there youth’s golden gleam is the word used.The greatness of man is created out of childhood experiences and we contribute ourselves something to the mere impressions.The childhood experiences were the sources of his creative power,and it was like a door suddenly opened and the memory of it lingered in later life (Pratyabhigna of Indian)He says The days goneby come back upon me from the dawn almost of life which signify the memory of past life.’
The perspectives in philosophy and science religion and art by I.C Philosophical research follows.The last of the 1992 diaries is on administration,management,education,pleides and the kabirim.nagapanchamam.
1993has 3 diaries.one starts with coleridge,and poems to shiva by indira viswanatha Peterson.in memorium of Tennyson and ammaman’s kannuneerthulli comparison,lunar craters,nidanasthanam or pathology in susruthasamhitha,sandranandam,a note for kashaya of bhanu.
The second one a speech for advocates association on love,a speech on how to make blood donation safe ,AIR Vachanamritham ,107th birthday of ammaman symposium on poetry after nalapatan,inauguration by k.p.na.p and presided by payipra radhakrishnan who wanted my susruthasamhitha for sahityaacademy after hearing my speech,
The brontes,the respects paid to EMS and speech on roopabhadrathavadam.
Prabhashanam on vayala vasudevan pillai’s death of a bird.
Romantic imagination by c.m boura,diffeence between romantic and realist.Romantic sits alone with eyes turned inwards,realist sits in company ,among several people making lot of noise.
A visionary or darsanika has 5 eyes like 5faced shiva.one turned to stars and sun and sky,one to the outside just like any other person,one romantic eye,one to the prakrithy,prapancha,and the 5th to oneself,to the inner consciousness.He may see what the common man see or may not see that at all.But the darsana or vision of a visionary is never seen by a common man,and he lives in the sunrise of eternity as said by Blake.Romantist strongly feels that he ispart of the creation and creativity.
12.12.93 narayaneeyadinam bhakthythatwa and vedantha speech at guruvayur.chathusloki from brahmasoothra of sankara,speech on the karmayoga of vivekananda to NSS Womens polytechnic .Guruvayur utsavam speech on bhakthy based on balamani amma’s poetry. Study o f devindra kohli on kamaladas excerpts.march 6th sadsamgam at NSS Karayogam speech.
72 melakartharaaga-the name fromammaman’s diary in 1993 .
madhavikuttiyude varshangalkku mumpu,oru pathrapravarthakante ormakurippukal,poem nishkramanam. Chilappathikaram into Malayalam as poetry ,translation work.
1994 four diaries.
Sopanasamgheetham,lokantharangalil,gurupaadangalil,nakshathraroopa for meditation,infinity and the mind by rudy rucker,goddell ,mysticism and rationality,thirukkural.
Patheyam book 7 .
Dept of foreign languages influence of French literature on sociopolitical and cultural fields of kerala,notes on jesudas kutchery,sandranandam,on a adivasi mother who nostalgically remembers picking mahua flowers,a questionnaire of chilla magazine on sthree dharma answered,pumsavanam,yesudas conversations,
Excerpts from diary of nalapat,on music,literature and life.
1995.
ancient myths in modern poetry,focus on yeats,ezra pound eliot and auden.freud and jung on myths the psychoanalytical background,the way of the zen and aroopadhyanam,the romantic survival ,a study in poetic evolution,Marxist theories /structuralist Marxism.recent developments by eagleton,readeroriented theories,theoies of reader psychology,feminist criticism,political feminism,3 phases of gynocritics,as feminine,feminist and female phase,French feminist critical theory,laccan
communication and leadership,assessing quality and quantity of work done,the crest of the peacock,ambergriss,Phoenician religion and temple,mitotic cycle,agni as regular pyramid or tetrahedron,earth as cube or hexahedron,air as octahedron ,water as icosahedron,akasa as dodecahedron with a central pentagon.
Carlyle’s literature –lectures on heroes,greenhouse effect,roger penrose,the world’s oldest roads,jews of Israel,archives of environmental health,900 AD Chingelpet inscription,village assembly with executive committee rules and functions.Thodaas,
Sushumna suryachakradhyanam and avahanam of Krishna from sun to heart .by spanda becomes suvarnavarna from blue.thapoloka near sahasrara is yellow golden and when we visualize that colour our intellectual pursuits become better and unselfish.All the 7 swaras are contained in the golden colour.
On thirunava,volcano eruptions,earthquakes,kutch lipi,platonic solids,fullerene and garudane.
Response management in organizations,risk analysis in decisionmaking,crisis management,TQM,leadership problems,ohio model,traits to be possessed,guidelines,inertia between coordinates the theories of Einstein.
Souvarnam ,mandukyakarika,Wittgenstein,a study on Viennese positivism,visions of vedic poets,varieties of religious experiences,critical exposition of philosophy of leibniz,hegel and modern philosophy,hindu view of art,thaithareeyam,translation as discovery,literature,social consciousness and polity,reality knowledge of value,truth as cocorrespondence –existentialist view.concept of praamanya in navyanyaya school.Man as transcendence,jyothisha a comprison,mundakam and mandukyam,media and women a speech
1996
sandilyabhakthisoothra with swapneswarabhashya
poems .modern man in search of soul by jung.poetryand the sacred.mysticism a study in nature and development of man’s spiritual consciousness by evelyn underhill.
Huge of st victor three types of music.
1.prapanchasangheetham.
A.of the 5 elements number

Measure,dimension
Weight,gravity
B.planets position

Movement,velocity,momentum

Nature
C.Time



Day month year




Light darkness dark bright six rithu/ seasons


2.. Human music
1.Godmade vocal from the body as daiveeveena
2.from the athma spiritual also daiveeveena
3.merging of the two.cosmic and bioenergy music as neuroscience,devotional experiences,art and science of music

3.Instrumental music which is manmade.
We are not seeing truth ,we are hearing and listening to it.Aheavenly melody ,intolerably sweet ,all symbolic languages come and fill the mind of the mystic.mysticism joins hands with music and poetry.description of a spiritual experience is always symbolic.
Three thirsts of man.
1.we become travelers or pilgrims from the known to the unknown world
2.we become lovers when the thirst for heart to heart or athma to athma become predominant
3.we become yogins when thirst for perfection and internal purity predominates.
Poornatha or perfection is the most beautiful vision .The three types of mystics with these three thirsts or temperaments are
1.mystic quest
2.marriage of the soul
3.great work of spiritual alchemists who use the metallic and planetary images and language of alchemists.
Mystic is a totally mad being who had drunk the perfect beauty(soundaryalahari)of eternal light ,by turning his/her eye into the depths of ananthatha or endless wisdom.The one who is lucky to get a glimpse,or just a sip is his twin,the artist(musician,poet,dreamers,prophets)who lives half in dark and half in brightness.American psychologist Bucke has analysed this type of artists also in the group of cosmic consciousness.I am happy about that.Because,I am more of the first type sometimes drifting into the second as a poet.
Three types of visions
1.intellectual(spiritual)
2.imaginery
3.corporeal.
The first comes to us without our asking,as if some other power has planted it there.It is very intimate to us,and is not explainable.A formless presence.A formless akshara.A feeling that God is with us. This could be a symbolic form or a personal one.The lightriver of Dante is a symbolic dream of truth.It takes the visionary to a plane of eternity.This is not madness.In a meditative person it appear involuntarily,at the summit of a train of thought.Dhyana is the media of the mystic.It is to him/her what harmony is to a musician,form and colour to an artist,meter to a poet,-vehicle by which we can best apprehend the good and beautiful ,enter into communion with the real.
As a voice or a vision is the way in which his/her transcendental consciousness presents its discoveries to the surfacemind so contemplation is the way in which it makes those discoveries ,perceives the suprasensible;The growth of his/her effective genius.It is connected to our artistic growth.Growth is influenced by the vidya in turn.
These things are written .
Then the Tibetan book of the dead,psychological commentary by Jung,chandogyam,philosophy of the Tamil sidha as realized souls.
The panchamakara
Madya is the symbol of gnaana which makes you drunk with bliss
Matsya is the pranayama.
Mamsa is control of vak and senses
Mudra is the dhyanamudra of yogi
Maithuna is thanmayeebhava with paramarthasatha.
Pleasures of philosophy by will Durant.pp 387 deals with 4 stages of development in understanding religion.1.emotional belief
2.metaphysical bvelief3.absolut edisillusionment4.aesthetic understanding(the best)
A speech for All India astrological conference at Alwaye on 15.9.1996.

1997 diary
Leela the game of knowledge,the 72 squares which make up the field of the cosmic play and the musical scales.
Introduction to philosophy by Russell.PEANO .
Men and movements in American philosophy
The mind of sankaracharya
First principles by spencer
Scence and religion an interpretation of 2 communities (both are 3 fold and circular.
Ananda an experience
A comprehensive anthology of fundamental writings eastern mysticism
She was queen of Egypt
Surely you are joking ,mr Feynman.
On precision of equinox .carl sagan predictions
Freud and dreams ESP Research
Psi processes clairvoyance ,telepathy.
The faith and modern science
Esoteric Christianity
Village gods of south India
Ramayana traditions in asia
Philosophy and scientific cognition,
Esoteric Christianity
The problems of Newton.
1998.travel to Nepal
secret doctrine
dead towns and living men
speeches of lord curzon
theory of evolution
jesus lived in India.(This I read after settling at Ernakulam)
1999
I have compiled all my Krishna poems and collected in a single diary.
Nepal travelogue 6.2 1999.sandranandam
16.5.99 Pragna reiki inauguration at moovattupuzha
ammadevi cult
18.5.99 a dream vision.
Kannan paadalkal
M.P Veerendrakumar and C.K.Sujith kumar award at Nalapatan cultural society speech
Vishnusahasranaamam
Oct 10th Mammiyur devaswom sangheetholsavan arambham
MSS Meera padalkal
72 melakartha and naagakkettu.
I have just enumerated the stream of consciousness in 30 years(1969-1999).How my mind had been concentrated on things which are not mundane for such a long time,so that I cant sometimes understand the ordinary loukika talks.That doesn’t touch me much.Just superficial hearing only.The growth is something like an inward growth ,and then viewing the outside world from within .A figure of 8 pattern of vision.A witness only ,not touched by the external world .In 1999 I realized with wonder that I had been prepared for a realization from childhood through my repetive dream visions ,to do something which even I didn’t know.A sort of astronomical synchronicity.This niyoga is around vridhachala and its memory.
The temple at vridhachala has only 72 karana unlike other temples which have 108 .
Leela (gnan chowpad has )72 cubes
360 degree of brahmanda is 72X 5 or a panchamukha ,pentagon ,the golden proportion of thripurasundari.(panchanan or shiva,simha or vahana of Durga)It is the most perfect aesthetic model of beauty.
72 Melakartha raga I FIRS T CAME ACROSS IN AMMAMAN’S DIARY.
72000 madhunadi,72000 jeevanadi,72 melakartha,all come and superimpose in my mind’s canvas and when I am right in the middle of finding out the place of me in this mandala of 72,yesudas comes into my life .The right person to stimulate the musical 72 melakartha and the music therapy thoughts dormant in my interdisciplinary mind.God’s moves are always in the correct time,correct place,Ibelieve.The recognition of my Vridhachala dream ,not only as a past memory of a bygone life,but also as a predictive dream for my life to evolve into,suddenly dawns in me.After all ,the past and future always merge in present for an advaithic mind.No divisions for time in thrikaalagna mind.So past and future merged in my present as an eternal spacetime and revelations flooded my mind as never before.the diary from 2000 to 2007(now)shows the difference in pattern very well.
The journey has completed a full circle from Ammaman’s death and vision of vridhachala,to series of interdisciplinary studies keeping me away from mundane influences ,and then seeing ammaman’s diary with the term melakartharaaga and the interconnectedness of that number with every other thing I had learned and to music .Then vision and aquaintance and communication with a musical genius and manasaguru(The unexpected happened as if from Heaven a star dropped in front) which gives an intuitive revival of all experiences and integrative summing up,for recognition of my niyoga and role in life,though late.Better late than never!!!Dreams come from heaven.My life story has taught me that.
With this I have given a glimpse of the curios I have collected and kept in the corridors of my personal mental,intellectual timespan and this would help you as my readers to assess what type of a mind/intellect I have and probably what you can expect from my writings too.It is an introduction to the larger corridors of time (impersonal)that we are passing in this sojourn .We are passing from the personal timespace to impersonal timespace and the corridors of that broader span is in direct continuity with my personal narrower biological limited timespace just as the cosmos is related to a paramaanu forever in a nitya relationship.